Tammy and I met Joe and Diane and their beautiful family through our dear friends Mike and Lisa. The joy of being welcomed into their family on different occasions were something Tammy and I have spoken of often with warm appreciation. I’ll always remember Joe’s greeting, “Hey, to New York!” For the unskilled ear that was New York speak for “TONewYork (TONY) it’s good to see you!”

A few years ago Joe invited Mike, Steve, and I to a Notre Dame game in South Bend. Joe and his longtime friend Wally were great hosts. Anxious to get to the game on Saturday, Joe and Wally decided scraping the windows on the car was a small detail with which they didn’t want to be bothered. As we followed in another vehicle, I couldn’t help but think “They have driven with their heads hanging out the door windows before.” Those who know Joe much better than I, your stories could fill a couple of books. Like most proud Notre Dame followers, Joe was excited to show us around the campus. Seeing the Basilica of the Sacred Heart and The Word of Life mural (better known as Touchdown Jesus) were highlights of the trip.

After finishing the tour of the Basilica, Joe approached us and mumbled something. I asked Mike, “What did he say?” I asked that question often when I was around Joe. As his brother-in-law Mike was able to interpret, “He wants to show us one more thing before watching the game.” Shortly we were walking down to the Grotto. Here we are on a Division I college campus, in the midst of college football fever, and I’m invited into a place of quiet prayer and devotion. It was a special, holy moment. Thanks, Joe.

Joe died last January and has missed this years rise of the Fighting Irish to the #1 ranked team in the country. I can just hear Joe now. As many of us have said about others that have gone before us, “I’m sure he is watching and smiling.” Since that day in South Bend, I’ve been following Notre Dame football, always thinking about Joe Hawkins. I hope and pray you will take time to invite others into those places where you live and are passionate about.

Another big game is about to happen. Go Irish!!!
Joe, thanks for the invitation.

Grace and peace to all, TONewYork (Tony)

J. Anthony Mosley M.A., LPCC, NCC, DAPA, CRS

We are a destination and productivity obsessed society. Are
we there yet? How will we know? What measurements tell us we have arrived? Much
of our energy is spent on destination at the expense of quality relationships,
living in the moment, and the lost art of listening to one another’s stories.
While destination and productivity are important, the price we pay can be too
much if the result is a life lived running from place to place. An important
part of the work in counseling is to collaborate with clients on ways to relax
and enjoy the journey. An interesting paradox is we possess many comforts and
gadgets to make life easier, while much research states we are more stressed
and depressed than at any time in history. I have personally seen a rise in
anxiety disorders among teenagers recently. I suspect a “switched on”
culture and unfettered access to technology has not helped.

Many of us as children heard the phrase, “Stop, look,
and listen before you cross the street.” Paying attention to those words
improved your chances of getting to your destination safely. May I suggest, in
the interest of enjoying the journey that we slow down, pay attention to our
surroundings, and listen to one another’s stories. Who knows, we might find the
journey much more interesting than the destination.

Grace and peace as you travel!

J.Anthony Mosley, MA, LPCC, NCC, DAPA, CRS

But fear is not all bad.  It is a normal emotion. Fear keeps us alert.  Fear warns us of potential danger. The Dictionary defines fear as an unpleasant feeling of apprehension or distress caused by the presence or anticipation of danger. Fear is future driven.  It really has nothing to do with the past.  Depression, guilt, and sadness are past driven emotions.  Fear and anxiety are always about the future.

E. Stanley Jones, a missionary to India in the 1930’s calls worry, anxiety and fear, “the greatest single trinity of evils man can take into his life.” Think about it, what would that mean in your life if you could choose not to fear, not to worry, not to be consumed with anxiety? It could be life changing.

As the weather improves going outside to walk or ride a bike or work in the yard becomes easier.  There are several reasons why exercise helps with depression.  The Mayo Clinic’s website offers three main mental health benefits.  First of all, exercise helps to release the brain’s “feel good” chemicals called neurotransmitters and endorphins.  These natural chemicals are helpful in easing depression.  Secondly, exercise can reduce immune system chemicals that seem to make depression worse.  And finally, exercise increases body temperature that has been shown to have a calming effect.

There are some direct benefits to the mind as well.  It has been reported that exercise helps you to gain confidence as you set goals and achieve them.    While you are exercising you may actually be thinking of something other than your worries and this can be very helpful.  When we are depressed we seem to focus only on what is upsetting us.  Often exercise can involve social interaction.  If you join a class or walk on the treadmill next to someone you are with others.  Just being with people can be therapeutic.  Depression fools your mind into thinking you need to be alone.  Depressed people tend to isolate themselves and that only makes the depression worse.  I think it is helpful to remember that exercise is a healthy coping strategy.  Many coping strategies carry with them other problems making the depression worse. Some examples might be overeating, alcohol, Internet or TV.

Another way that physical exercise can help is in the discipline that regular exercise demands.  When a person is depressed or weighed down with anxiety it is hard to get out of bed in the morning so simple tasks can feel overwhelming.  But getting out and taking a walk even when you don’t want to requires discipline and this can be very empowering.  It can be the catalyst to change.  It can move you from feeling out of control to regaining control.

Remember if your depression worsens you may need professional help.  Talk to your doctor or make an appointment with a New Source counselor.  You don’t have to be depressed anymore.